You're in such a good mood you start up a rousing rendition of "THE BIG BROTHER SHUFFLE".
Author McBatman
Status complete

1984 Quest follows the adventures of Winston Smith and his battles with various physicists in the superstate Oceania. It quickly derails from and takes the piss is a brilliant homage of George Orwell's dystopian novel, Nineteen-Eighty-Four. I recommend you actually go and read this instead of having it ruined by my synopsis. For serious.

Plo Edit

Things start off relatively canon as Winston Smith, Outer Party member in the superstate Oceania controlled by the all-seeing all-knowing Big Brother, wakes up with a pounding hangover. While doing his job at the Ministry of Truth by changing Einstein's autobiography so he is now a renowned time-travelling kickboxer, he is mistakenly given the slogans of the Party for editing. He changes the paradoxical idioms to FREEDOM IS WEARING RIDICULOUS HATS, WAR IS AWESOME IS DAILY FOODFIGHTS, and WINSTONSMITH IS DOUBLEPLUS GOOD.

The next day, the revised slogans have become Party doctrine, and Winston is confused by the many silly hats, his boss now having always been O'Batman, and his Victory Gin being replaced with champagne. Things are going great until Kickboxer Einstein makes an appearance through a portal in time and beats the crap out of everyone. Winston, O'Batman, and others have to fight to save their backsides and their country from the terror of Einstein. And said yes.


  • Winston Smith - The fat, lazy, hideous protagonist of the story. He work at the Ministry of Truth amending historical documents.
  • O'Brien - Winston's boss. Better known as O'Batman.
  • Einstein - Changed into the world's greatest time-travelling kickboxer in the Ministry of Truth, this guy overcame the limits of relativity by BEATING THEM INTO SUBMISSION.
  • Fred Parsons - Winston's annoyingly chipper neighbour who works in the Ministry of Kung-Fu.
  • Jennifer - A young prole lady who likes growing very prickly roses and busting her boyfriend out of the Ministry of Love.
  • Hastur - An eldritch horror which is summoned by saying its name three times. Fused with about three different people, most problematically Einstein and Sandra to make Heinstein and Hastandra.
  • Sandra - A pretty young member of the Junior-Anti-Sex League. Summons Hastur to get Einstein off her back.

Tropes UsedEdit

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