|You wake up on a seat on a bus. You had apparently slept the entire ride, and you are now beyond your stop. You are close to the station, however, which isn't that far from your intended stop. You could easily walk from the station, so you decide to just wait.|
The story starts with the as of yet unnamed main character sitting on a bus. He immediately goes over to an old lady and licks her. He considers using his freeze ray to freeze time, so as to make an escape, but upon realizing that the freeze ray doesn't work like that, he jumps out the emergency escape window. On his way to his destination, he notices that he is at the corner of Twilight Street and Zone Avenue, and he sees Rod Serling passing by. After this, a car explodes, destroying the freeze ray. The owner of the car angrily stomps out, holding a sawed-off shotgun. Harris punches him out, shouting "I ATE IT." Realizing what he has done, he runs away, followed by a Soviet Agent. He finally arrives at the Agency for Super Scientists (ASS), and is told by the receptionist that "Dr. Jacobsen is waiting for [him] in Test Chamber 455." However, Harris, at this point, forgets where chamber 455 is, and sees that the elevator is broken. In the meantime, the Soviet Agent is keeping an eye on Harris with her thermal goggles, and sneaks in an air vent to try and find him at test chamber 455. Also meanwhile, we are introduced to Frederick the Mutant Landfish, who is being kept in test chamber 456. Harris decides to climb through the elevator shaft rather than ask the secretary for directions. The Soviet Agent also enters the elevator shaft at this point, while Frederick is put in a jar, and is taken to chamber 455 for use with the freeze ray. Harris then sees a "sign" of sorts, telling him that chambers 120-139 are one way, etc. At this point, the Soviet Agent falls and manages to catch on to the ladder just above Harris. As they head towards test chambers 119 to 100, the Soviet Agent pretends that she is a scientist called "Jane Smargo". Suddenly, an elevator hurtles towards them. The Soviet Agent uses her knife to jimmy open the door and roll in with Dr. Harris in hand. This unfortunately has bent the ballistic knife badly. Dr. Harris then apologizes for soiling himself.
- Dr. Patrick Neil Harris - A scientist at the ASS, Dr. Harris is somewhat prone to "Brain Farts". The main character.
- Soviet Agent - A Soviet agent who is tracking Dr. Harris for reasons unknown, although her intent is not to kill. Is going by the name "Jane Smargo", at current. Carries a ballistic knife, thermal goggles, a sniper rifle and a grapple gun.
- Frederick the Mutant Landfish - A mutated Landfish being kept in the ASS as a test subject for the freeze ray.